"The Talk"

I have a 10-year-old daughter and last year, in the 4th grade, she brought home a paper from school stating that they would be learning about puberty the following week.   I knew that I needed to talk to her about this before she heard it at school.

Now, I talk to people about this kind of stuff every day, but it is really different to reveal the mysteries of the universe to your child.  We've discussed bits and pieces of this topic over the years, usually in vague terms.  I still remember, though, how my daughter (then age 6) explained to my son (then age 3) while they were riding in the back of my minivan how "babies come out of a woman's vagina...and if it can't come out that way, they have to have a C-section."  My son just said "oh" and started talking about the new topic already on his mind.

But now it was time to get into a little more detail, and this time it was more specifically directed at what would be happening to HER.  Although I am obviously able to speak about these matters in clear scientific terms without feeling embarassed,  I still felt like somehow I would be taking her childhood away by discussing these adult topics.

I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to bring up the topic, and how much information should be given.  I even took an informal poll of my friends who have kids the same age to hear how they brought it up and what exactly needed to be said.  Finally, I settled on buying the book "The Care and Keeping of You", part of the American Girl series, which deals with puberty as well as general hygiene and personal care issues.  As anyone with a 10-year-old knows, personal hygiene isn't always at the top of the priority list, so I thought it would be good to review that as well.

We sat down together on a Friday night, and skimmed through the book.  I explained things, using the pictures in the book to illustrate my points.  To my amazement, she handled the discussion with a lot of maturity, and asked very appropriate questions.  It was even sort of a bonding moment for us, as corny as that may seem...

We still haven't covered the "ins-and-outs" of sex (pardon the pun), but I know that's an important topic for parents to discuss with their kids.  My daughter can handle it, I just need to take baby steps...I need to come to grips with having my kid grow up:)

This week, I ran across an article in the Wall Street Journal about how we parents should share this information with our kids from the time they start to speak, and answer their questions as they come.  It takes away the awkwardness of the situation, and makes sex and sexuality a normal part of everyday life.  I couldn't agree more.  A link to the article is here:  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204358004577032421571545382.html

One thing I've learned is that parenting isn't always easy, and most of the time you don't know what the heck you're doing.  I also know that kids can handle a lot more than we give them credit for.